The world of online dating…

25 Sep

Like most things that were once considered to be taboo, online dating is now old hat.  However, as socially accepted as it now is, there are still a lot of naysayers who love to bash the concept and  try to convince you that it’s still as dangerous and ineffective as it was in the 90’s.

Personally, I’ve been online dating for a few years now…Actually, come to think of it, the first time I ended up dating someone I met online was when I was 17.  Now, at 26, I can say that I’ve definitely learned the ins and outs of online dating and can genuinely see all of the pros and cons, from an experienced point of view.

Argument #1:  You never know if what they are telling you online is true!

This is definitely correct.  There really is no way of knowing if what these people are telling you online is true or not.  But then again, that guy/girl you met at the bar last night could quite possibly be just as creative and insincere as the person you just met online.  It’s a gamble either way!  You just need to be aware of this, stick to your gut instincts and keep track of the things this person tells you.  Over time ask the same questions again and see if you get consistent answers.  Consistency is key!

Argument #2:  A lot of people post fake pictures or really old pictures from when they were younger and better looking!

Again, this can also be true, and thanks to this I’ve learned to NEVER meet a potential  date in person until you’ve managed to get a totally recent photo of them.  You can do this like so: After you’ve shared enough emails and feel like you quite possibly could connect on a deeper level, give them your phone number but tell them to only text you.  After a few texts, ask them what kind of phone they have.  Once you’re assured their phone model has a camera (because some people lie and say their phones don’t have cameras) ask them to take a picture of themselves and send it to you right then and there.  Make it funny though, so that they don’t feel like you’re playing too hard of an investigator.  Ask them to hold 3 fingers up in the photo or to hold a piece of paper up with a funny word on it so you know that it is absolutely recent and shot just for you.  Once you’re assured they are the same person you saw online and that they’re not actually 10yrs older or 100lbs heavier and you still feel that good vibe, then go ahead and give them a call and go from there.  If they in any way avoid taking a recent picture for you, suggest web caming, and if they still can’t follow through DROP THEM!

Argument #3:  How do you know they are seriously looking for a relationship and not just sex?

There’s no way of knowing what is going on in anyone’s head.  This goes for both the people you meet online and the people you meet in person by chance.  One thing I can say from experience is, if what you’re looking for is a relationship, you should probably weed out the lower quality websites.  Most men wont pay a fee on sites such as Match.com or eHarmony if they aren’t seriously seeking a partner.  From personal experience I’ve noticed that people on paid websites have much better quality profiles, where they express themselves and what they are looking for in a much deeper level.  They also tend to be more picky themselves and move a little slower in regards to when they want to meet you in person.  I’ve also noticed that these men tend to be the higher quality dates and are a lot more respectful and even understanding if you later feel that you guys just don’t connect on that level.

Free dating sites such as POF (Plenty of Fish) are a complete free-for-all.  It doesn’t cost anything so anyone can join and not think twice about what the site is actually supposed to be for.  You may occasionally come across a person that is genuinely seeking a serious relationships, but the all around number and quality of emails I’ve received there  all lead me to believe that this site is a little more for the men and women who would much rather have a casual encounter of the sexual kind.

Argument #4: If they found you online who’s to say they wont meet other people online while you’re together?

The chances of these men/women cheating on you are just as high as any other.  Just because you didn’t meet someone online doesn’t mean they don’t know how to use the internet.  All people pose the same threats and we’re all facing the same risks when entering into a new relationship.  Welcome to the world of dating!  It’s life!  Sometimes you find a good one, sometimes you don’t!

**An added benefit for women**

For the most part, we have all been raised thinking that men have to be the initiators in a courtship and have thick enough skin (for the most part) to withstand rejection.  One thing I can honestly say that is a definite bonus to online dating (for both sexes) is that women have become more daring and have been taking on the initiator role as well.  Where a woman would be too embarrassed to approach a man in person or just be extremely terrified of rejection, they feel a lot more safe in doing so online.  Instead of facing public humiliation, at worst they may receive an email saying “Thanks, but I don’t think you’re really my type” or their advance may be ignored. No harm, no foul! No embarrassment and no hurt feelings!

So, to summarize everything stated above, online dating can indeed be risky, but not more or less than meeting someone while out and about or through friends.  It does come with it’s own warning label, but if you play your cards right and keep your wits about you, you will be just fine.  If you’ve been thinking about joining an online dating site and have been afraid, don’t be.  Give it a shot!  You never know who you may meet on there who’s path you may have never crossed in person otherwise.

280 Responses to “The world of online dating…”

  1. Alberto September 25, 2011 at 5:13 pm #

    Cool!

  2. Muse Photos September 25, 2011 at 5:18 pm #

    None of those are my issues. LOL My problem was the stalkers. The one guy grabbing all my info and going and looking me up and all my parents and mine’s info. That was some scary stuff. then we have the super rude guys that want to believe every woman is not worthy yet they want to talk to you. I don’t know it seems I only met psychos so I will stick to good old meeting in person. THANKS.

    • emilysixxrants September 25, 2011 at 5:20 pm #

      Remember what we talked about… your legal first and last name are plastered everywhere online. That makes it a lot more dangerous for you because it’s easier for people to find out personal information on you when you don’t want them to.

      I’ve had my share of stalkers, and you know this, but not all were online ones. I’ve had stalkers who were people I met in person. All in all, it also has to do with the attitude you go into it ya know? If you think it’s crap, you’re only going to meet crap.

      • dragonstrand September 27, 2011 at 3:37 am #

        Romeo was a “stalker”–but Juliet was into it. Calling someone a stalker is just a modern way of characterizing what used to be referred to as a “jilted lover”–in other words, someone who is passionately into you who you are not passionately into. In modern terminology, Stendhal was a “stalker” of Mathilde. Remember this the next time you are having sex with your lover–you are just accepting rather than rejecting the obsessive advances of a “stalker”. 🙂

  3. Yami September 25, 2011 at 5:22 pm #

    I’m all for online dating myself. It definately empowers women in the harsh world of dating. I personally know 3 women who have met, dated and married through online dating sites. And are happily married I might add.

    Like everything in life, it has the good and the bad. And like everything else in life, it’s up to us to make the decision as to what is good for us and what is not.

    I personally think online dating is the way to go now a days.

  4. Mikalee Byerman September 26, 2011 at 1:17 pm #

    I met my current boyfriend of 2.5 years online. He’s a keeper. The seven I dated prior to him, not so much…like the one who wanted me to “Go Green.” I thought he was into girls who reduce, recycle and reuse: But he wanted to paint me green like the alien in Star Trek and have his way with me.

    No lie. And I found this out on date #2.

    😉

    • emilysixxrants September 26, 2011 at 7:18 pm #

      Oh my goodness that is crazy! And I thought some of the guys I met online were weird!

      Congrats on your successful relationship though! That’s awesome! 🙂

  5. natasiarose September 26, 2011 at 1:17 pm #

    Great post! People you meet offline can lie too, just as easily as they can on the internet. For example, I once dated a self-made millionaire that I met in college. Only guess what, she wasn’t! Online dating is now just as safe/dangerous as dating in real life.

    • emilysixxrants September 26, 2011 at 7:25 pm #

      Wow, yeah you have to be careful with everyone across the board..not just those you meet online.

      Thanks for commenting! 🙂

  6. The Simple Life of a Country Man's Wife September 26, 2011 at 1:22 pm #

    I don’t know much about online dating, but I do know my beautiful pediatrician cousin met a very handsome man that way. They are now married and expecting a daughter.

    • emilysixxrants September 26, 2011 at 7:25 pm #

      Awww I love success stories like those!

      Cheers!

  7. Jon The Blogcentric September 26, 2011 at 1:23 pm #

    Yeah, online dating is fun and can be romantic but I agree that it lacks honesty.

    • emilysixxrants September 29, 2011 at 12:40 pm #

      Not in every case.

      (Sorry for the delayed response. For some reason your comment was marked as Spam)

  8. runitjojo September 26, 2011 at 1:24 pm #

    I’ve only treaded the online dating scene a handful of times, but I find myself experiencing the same challenges online as I do in person! 😦

    • emilysixxrants September 29, 2011 at 12:39 pm #

      They are definitely two in the same.

      (Sorry for the delayed response. For some reason your comment was marked as Spam)

  9. JamieCurtisBaker September 26, 2011 at 1:26 pm #

    I actually met my wife online through a blog website. We’ve been married almost four years. Best thing that ever happened to me. So I support finding love on the web. You just have to be cautious and play it safe.

  10. Christina Does It All September 26, 2011 at 1:29 pm #

    great blog! ive always been curious about online dating, and you answered all of my questions. (i’m married, so i won’t be online dating anytime soon, but still. curiosity =quenched haha :P)

    • emilysixxrants September 29, 2011 at 12:39 pm #

      🙂 I’m glad I was able to help! lol

      (Sorry for the delayed response. For some reason your comment was marked as Spam)

  11. Howlin' Mad Heather September 26, 2011 at 1:31 pm #

    Congrats on being FP! My experience in online dating is that I’ve been burned so many times, I should buy stock with the Kevlar corporation. Haven’t given up just yet, but getting close. Maybe I should give it one last try.

    • emilysixxrants September 29, 2011 at 12:38 pm #

      Try and try again..Never give up on love, no matter where you find it 🙂

      (Sorry for the delayed response. For some reason your comment was marked as Spam)

  12. newsy1 September 26, 2011 at 1:33 pm #

    Online dating certainly has its share of good, bad and ugly. But I know people who have fared well with it. Terrific post.

    • emilysixxrants September 29, 2011 at 12:38 pm #

      Thank you!!!! 🙂

      (Sorry for the delayed response. For some reason your comment was marked as Spam)

  13. gouessej September 26, 2011 at 1:42 pm #

    Hi. I like your article, you sum up the most recurrent prejudices about online dating and you explain very well how they aren’t specific to this kind of dating. The people we meet online aren’t specific to Internet, they reflect our society. I went to dating websites for more than eight years, I met almost all my girlfriends by this way, I’m neither proud nor shameful, I would like people to become more open minded. It is sometimes difficult to announce to your family that you met your boyfriend or your girlfriend on the Web and those people who blindly criticize online dating are pyromaniac firefighters because their behaviour drives the relationships born online harder to live.

    In my case, I met the worst persons in my life without Internet, where I studied. I met my worst girlfriend at high school and some stalkers at the university institute of technology. Stalkers are not specific to online dating and we should take care of our personal informations. Best regards.

    • emilysixxrants September 26, 2011 at 7:28 pm #

      “The people we meet online aren’t specific to Internet, they reflect our society.”

      Couldn’t have said it better myself.

      Cheers!

  14. Unrelenting Amee September 26, 2011 at 1:46 pm #

    Emily, I’ve been doing online dating off and on since college! It worked better for me when I was younger– possibly because that was before most people have really been burned and they were more optimistic and open. What I see now is a lot of guys that are either desperate to get married and have kids, or their profiles are so hateful towards women that it seems they just want to vent rather than actually date! I used Nerve and Match in the past, and Match was awful!

    My cousin met and married a guy from POF, within 4 months they were engaged! And I can truly say they are one of the happiest couples I’ve seen. I’m about ready to quit online dating, however. What surprises me is that despite messaging each other for weeks and sometimes a few marathon phone calls rife with flirtation and possibility, the actual meeting is a total buzz kill. Where we could so easily chat before, in person, the conversation never gets off the ground.

    What are your thoughts on OKCupid? What are some good alternative paid sites, besides eHarmony? I looked at that one, but it was so much focused on “SOULMATES!!” that it was just a bit too serious for me. I like something a bit more lighthearted and innovative. It’s funny, because I’m probably going to delete my current account and write a post on my own blog about why very soon. At this point, I’m just in it for the amusement!

    • Unrelenting Amee September 26, 2011 at 1:47 pm #

      P.S. I love your blog design!

    • emilysixxrants September 26, 2011 at 7:38 pm #

      Hi!

      First off, congratulations to your cousin!

      I can totally relate to the feeling of connecting with someone online and once you meet them in person it’s a total flat line. But at least you gave it a shot. I learned quickly to not get too invested or excited about anyone I found interesting online until we have met in person. You can talk all you want online or on the phone, but it’s all about the physical and spiritual chemistry once you’re face to face.

      As for OKCupid, I was on that one for a couple of months, but I never ever met anyone on there that I had so much as a 6 email conversation with. I’ve heard of a few success stories, but I personally did not have any luck there.

      The only paid dating sites I’ve used are Match & eHarmony (during their free week offer). I’ve heard good things about Date.com, but again, I’ve never used it. My personal favorite was Match, but it’s not for everyone.

      I’d love to read your post when it’s up!

      -Emily

      • Unrelenting Amee September 27, 2011 at 5:29 pm #

        I definitely will be writing that post now!! And you know what’s even better? Some dude saw my comment on your blog, then read my blog, and then quoted me in HIS blog. YES! I need to comment on other WP blogs more often!! He’s arguing with me, but who cares? It’s publicity and I can give it right back. 😉

  15. introspheric September 26, 2011 at 2:11 pm #

    Hit the nail right on the head. 🙂 I’ll be sure to use this post as back up argument the next time I bump into a naysayer!

  16. Cristina Roman September 26, 2011 at 2:16 pm #

    I was just telling someone that I planned to write a blog post addressing the common arguments against online dating! This post encompasses my thoughts exactly 🙂

    • emilysixxrants September 29, 2011 at 12:37 pm #

      That’s awesome! Glad you enjoyed my post and we share the same views on the subject 🙂

      (Sorry for the delayed response. For some reason your comment was marked as Spam)

  17. abichica September 26, 2011 at 2:16 pm #

    love the post and your blog.. 😀

  18. etomczyk September 26, 2011 at 2:20 pm #

    Emily: Thanks for your well-done blog. It breaks my heart to think of what women (especially young women) are up against just trying to find a descent human to date. I am 63 and have known my husband for over 40 years. But I have daughters who are in their late twenties and I am wreck over their online dating. Yet, I think there is grace and danger in it all. I know couples who met online and half are a mess and the other half are storybook romances. I’ve know couples who were “assigned” to marry in third world countries who are so in love with each other, it almost hurts. I also know people who met in church, grew up knowing each other’s families, and their marriages are a horror story. A lot has to do with going past the “obvious” and digging deep for the wealth that is within. I wrote a satirical story on my blog that you might like about me being in an interracial relationship and marrying when some of the states still had laws that made it illegal — how hard it was to find each other but what it took to overcome the obstacles: “Sneaky Snake’s Blog.” I wish you luck, and I wish you love!.

    • emilysixxrants September 26, 2011 at 7:46 pm #

      Thank you so much for your response!

      I long to one day be able to say I’ve known my husband for as long as you’ve known yours. That is really such a rare and beautiful gift.

      I will definitely check out your blog! I’m sure it’s amazing!

  19. Ajay Kaul September 26, 2011 at 2:21 pm #

    Having experienced online dating for a while now, I am very comfortable with the concept and the results. The biggest positive of online dating is that you get to meet people you would never have come across in your normal course of activity. The diversity is amazing and you never know who you could end up having chemistry with.
    However, caution has to be observed. I agree that the quality of matches is higher on fee websites as opposed to the free ones. But you still need to read through the profiles carefully before deciding to communicate. Phone communication before meeting helps and now that sites offer services where you can communicate without the other person seeing your number, it is a very safe option.

    • emilysixxrants September 26, 2011 at 7:51 pm #

      Hi Ajay,

      Thanks for commenting!

      Caution is definitely something to never disregard. You definitely do need to read between the lines and try to really understand what a person is saying in a non-literal sense when reading their profiles. It’s almost like you need to become a criminal profiler lol

      I’ve yet to use the option of communicating without displaying your contact info, but that is a definite plus. Specially for the newcomers who still don’t know what’s the right way to go about meeting people online.

      Cheers!

  20. thebigbookofdating September 26, 2011 at 2:25 pm #

    The good thing though about online dating is it’s a bit like window shopping, if the picture is accurate that is (;

    • emilysixxrants September 29, 2011 at 12:36 pm #

      It sure is lol

      (Sorry for the delayed response. For some reason your comment was marked as Spam)

  21. verdantlee September 26, 2011 at 2:26 pm #

    Great post, and excellent advice!! I recently delved into this topic in a recent article – http://verdant4ever.wordpress.com/2011/07/27/adventures-in-datingland-episode-ii/. So many people out there are misrepresenting themselves and what they are looking for when dating. While it’s true that you run the same risks on the internet as you do when meeting people out in the “real” world, it seems that people are much more willing to get creative on a web dating site! It’s often outright hilarious!

    • emilysixxrants September 26, 2011 at 7:54 pm #

      I can’t deny that it is much easier to lie behind a computer screen than it is to do so in person..but you couldn’t believe the amount of fantastic actors I’ve met in real life as well. I don’t know how they haven’t made it to the big screen yet! lol

      Thank you so much for your comment and I will be checking out your blog shortly! 🙂

  22. zenlifefrugal September 26, 2011 at 2:27 pm #

    Very good thoughts indeed! You covered a lot of the major things!

  23. Anne Schilde September 26, 2011 at 2:31 pm #

    A really good point about avoiding the free sites (unless that’s really what you want). You get what you pay for right? Another thing is that the pay sites require a credit card from their clients which makes them less attractive to social predators. Good information! Thanks for sharing!

    • emilysixxrants September 26, 2011 at 7:58 pm #

      You definitely do get what you pay for! And that is a very good point. I hadn’t thought of that.

      Thanks for commenting and I’m glad you enjoyed my entry 🙂

  24. Anita Mac September 26, 2011 at 2:32 pm #

    While my short lived experience with on line dating wasn’t great, I have had friends who have met and married people they met online. I guess if it was meant to be, it was meant to be!

  25. Elyas Mulu Kiros September 26, 2011 at 2:32 pm #

    Hey, am new to your blog, but thanks to Freshly Pressed I just discovered it today, like few minutes ago 🙂 …. you’ve written a very helpful article that is short and simple–not boring, quite engaging, liked your arguments! I really enjoyed it and will keep in mind your advices if one day I consider online dating as an option. 😀

    I’ve subscribed to your blog, so I will keep visiting more often. Visit mine when you get a chance. 🙂

    Cheers

    • emilysixxrants September 26, 2011 at 8:03 pm #

      Thank you so much for subscribing! I am so glad that you enjoyed my entry and that you’ve found it helpful.

      I will be checking out your blog shortly! 🙂

  26. myeventfullife September 26, 2011 at 2:45 pm #

    Awesome post!! Congrats on being FP! 🙂

  27. Kim September 26, 2011 at 2:45 pm #

    Very nice, but I’d rather stay away from dating at all right now :S

    • emilysixxrants September 26, 2011 at 8:07 pm #

      I don’t blame you! Dating is a lot of work…Sometimes too much work lol

  28. Danielle Dodson September 26, 2011 at 2:47 pm #

    Love this! Taking the prejudice away, go girl!

    I met my future husband on a military dating site. What you say about the “paid” sites is TRUE. If they’re serious about finding someone, they’ll pay to find her.

    Also, it’s good to outline your intentions in your profile. Saying “I’m just here to look around” is much less credible than “I’m here to find someone to share my life with”. That weeds out the guys who just want sex.

    Congrats on getting fresh pressed! ❤

    • emilysixxrants September 26, 2011 at 8:12 pm #

      Haha Thank you!

      It’s definitely true that everyone should outline their intentions on their profile. A lot of people are very misleading and don’t realize they aren’t only wasting someone else’s time, most importantly, they’re wasting their own!

      Cheers!

  29. Svannah September 26, 2011 at 2:50 pm #

    I throughly enjoy meeting people online. I feel like I can be myself a lot more initially then if I meet someone in person.

    I met my current boyfriend on Zoosk and I’m totally happy!

    • emilysixxrants September 26, 2011 at 8:13 pm #

      Congratulations! I’m always happy to hear about awesome success stories 🙂

  30. Nicole September 26, 2011 at 2:54 pm #

    My husband and I are an online dating SUCCESS STORY …. we met nine years ago, I instantly fell in love with the guy I knew was genuine and real from the moment we asked “age/sex/location?” and this March we’ll be married five years. No, it’s not the most conventional or traditional mode of meeting your spouse, but it worked for us and I know it can work for others if their intent is real.

    Great blog post too, the content is relevant and very true. I’m a new follower too.

    • emilysixxrants September 26, 2011 at 8:17 pm #

      Oh yes, the “A/S/L” days! Congratulations on your beautiful marriage. I love hearing about success stories!

      I’m very happy that you enjoyed my post and thank you so much for following! 🙂

  31. lalostrada September 26, 2011 at 2:56 pm #

    You’re Right.

    I have met some guys in Romeo and I’ve had some good experiences most of the times but when I used Grindr which is an app just for people with Smartphones that suports several fetures as GPS location or other things is better.

    Anyway I stopped some weeks ago because i got tired. Maybe I’ll try them back next year.

    Good luck to anyone looking for love on the networks.

    • emilysixxrants September 26, 2011 at 8:20 pm #

      I definitely think it’s a great idea to take a break every now and then from these websites if they haven’t been successful. Once you return you’ll come across a whole bunch of new members and it will be a lot more refreshing and could possibly end in greater results.

      Thank you for your comment 🙂

  32. Ashmita September 26, 2011 at 3:04 pm #

    well written!!!

  33. Cathy September 26, 2011 at 3:11 pm #

    I think online dating is fun in the sense that there is nothing to lose nor is there too much risk involved. It is very possible that we meet someone interesting online but the thing is, we sometimes tend to forget that people in real life are better. We may meet someone were compatible with online or we may not so we shouldn’t entirely depend on it in looking for a lifetime partner. There is the real world after all 🙂

    • emilysixxrants September 26, 2011 at 8:24 pm #

      There is definitely a real world, but all of the people looking for love online are a part of this real world as well. I would never say to solely rely on finding love via the internet, but it’s always nice to have that option.

      Also, you can’t truly fall in love with a someone until you meet them in person, so finding someone online is only the first step. The chemistry you may or may not have in person is the most important thing 🙂

      Thank you so much for commenting! I’m glad you enjoyed my post!

  34. Abigail September 26, 2011 at 3:19 pm #

    I’ve thought about looking into online dating for a while now but the one thing I keep wondering is about distance. Sure, I know you can set distance parameters but I don’t live in a very populated part of the country. Six hours, while that places me within two major cities and isn’t completely unrealistic out here. would be a drag for any real steady interaction in person. If the idea is to spend the rest of your life with a person, IN person, that doesn’t seem like you’re setting yourself up well with that. (Not to mention I can’t drive and don’t have a lot of money for other modes of transportation.) Any comments or am I right?

    • emilysixxrants September 26, 2011 at 8:30 pm #

      Online dating is not for everyone. If you feel that it would be unrealistic for you, then that is totally ok. You will always know what is best for you and really don’t need anyone else to tell you that.

      I live in a ginormous city so I have not experienced the situation you’ve described..However, my mother for example, living in this huge city dated a man in another state for 3 years and she was very happy.

      I guess it all just boils down to you and what you feel is right and how daring you think you may need to be to find a connection.

      (personally, I won’t date anyone more than 20 miles away from me lol)

    • MrPopularSentiment September 27, 2011 at 7:10 am #

      I agree with Emily that no one knows you better than you do, and there’s no reason why you should try to force yourself into a style of relationship that just doesn’t fit.

      But I did want to address your second point that a long distance relationship doesn’t set you up for a “close proximity one.” Again, everyone is different and I’m sure that there are many couples that don’t transition well – although I think you could say the same about moving in together, getting married, having a baby, retiring…

      My husband and I started off in a (very) long distance relationship, and we dated that way for two years before moving in together. I would say that it was the best way for us to start off. For one thing, it made us really appreciate each other – it was hard to fight when you can remember having had to say goodbye so many times at airports. Also, we were both rather shy, and text-based dating allowed us to talk with far less reservation. By the time we moved in together, we knew each other inside and out. Something I’ve noticed among more “traditional” couples is that it tends to take them much longer to get over that dating phase where they’re trying to project an idealized version of themselves. But the most important thing is sex – because we couldn’t have any, we got to focus on building the other aspects of our relationship right from the start.

    • wadingacross September 27, 2011 at 9:32 am #

      When my wife and I were dating, we initially lived twelve hours apart – she in St. Louis, me in South Louisiana.

      It worked for us because I had nothing tying me down and was open to moving.

      While you might not be able to go long distances, there’s nothing saying someone wouldn’t do the same for you.

      • emilysixxrants September 27, 2011 at 7:58 pm #

        Very true!

        Cheers! 🙂

      • Abigail September 27, 2011 at 11:34 pm #

        Thanks all for your comments. Although I’m not quite ready to get that serious yet, you’ve given me some to think about for when that time comes.

  35. The Gates of Lodore September 26, 2011 at 3:28 pm #

    Agreed on all points. But especially #1. I’ve met a woman in person who wasn’t quite who she claimed to be, and met a woman online who wasn’t quite what she claimed to be. And I was fooled both times. I had a great online relationship for a few months, and years later I found out it was a complete lie. The only increased risk I see online is that the anonymous atmosphere may attract more degenerates and predators.

    • emilysixxrants September 26, 2011 at 8:37 pm #

      Thank you for commenting!

      “The only increased risk I see online is that the anonymous atmosphere may attract more degenerates and predators.”

      I can’t argue with that!

  36. Lost and Found September 26, 2011 at 3:52 pm #

    I met my boyfriend of a year now on plenty of fish… I had tried match.com but there was barely anyone around my age on there and I never got any messages or wanted to message anyone myself. Plus the minimum wage salary I had, It wasn’t worth spending my money on it when I wasn’t finding anyone. So I tried POF for awhile and I met a bunch of guys, a couple nice but only wanting sex… then eventually I came across my now boyfriend and he was as sweet as could be and never mentioned sex at all. I’m so glad I tried online dating, if not I wouldn’t have found him. cause He lived an hour away from me near the beach. So I appreciate this blog very much! =)

    • emilysixxrants September 26, 2011 at 8:43 pm #

      Awww Congratulations on your connection!

      And you bring up a good point that I didn’t mention in my post…Age!

      It is true that sites like Match have a target market of people in their mid to late 20s and above, whereas POF and other free sites cater a little more to the younger crowd.

      Thanks for commenting and good luck 🙂

  37. Eva McCane September 26, 2011 at 4:06 pm #

    i’ve never participated in online dating…not because i don’t believe in it, but because thus far i haven’t had a need. having said that, the dating pool in des moines, iowa is particularly small. if i don’t know somebody personally, there’s a solid change i know somebody who knows them. i stay fairly well connected, which is both good and bad. so online dating is starting to look somewhat appealing. we shall see.
    http://www.icouldntmakethisshitup.wordpress.com

    • emilysixxrants September 26, 2011 at 8:48 pm #

      Thanks for commenting!

      If you don’t feel it’s for you, then by all means don’t. But if you feel that little sense of curiosity, go for it! You’ve really got nothing to loose.

      I will definitely check out your blog as well!

      Thanks 🙂

  38. ....the little thread of thoughts September 26, 2011 at 4:31 pm #

    Online dating is well worth a try though caution shouldn’t be thrown to the wind. Yet meeting people face to face and hitting off to a great start, nothing can beat that !!
    Nice post, great read !!

  39. Administrator September 26, 2011 at 4:32 pm #

    My son just got married in July to his high school sweetheart. They met in the chat room of their online high school. Of course they spent a year in person (living in the same town) getting to know each other before saying “I do.” I think this is important, too. Because, even once you have correct photos and all that, there is nothing like real life talking face to face and hanging out together to get to know someone. Here’s picture of my beautiful daughter-in-law: http://delanasworld.wordpress.com/2011/07/27/825/
    Delana

    • emilysixxrants September 26, 2011 at 8:55 pm #

      Definitely! Getting the correct photo is basically the ticket get them a date. It’s ALL about the connection you have in person, and if you don’t have that chemistry, then it’s not meant to be.

      Congratulations to you, your son and your family. She seems like a very lovely addition 🙂

      Cheers!

    • wadingacross September 27, 2011 at 9:28 am #

      Hah! My best friend and his wife met online… they were in the same room at the time! Heheheh… he was in a computer lab at college and the school had its own IM/chatting service. He saw a girl in the lab he thought was cute, looked at the scroll of names on the list and figured out which one was her. He then struck up a conversation.

      They dated for two or so years and have been married twelve.

      • emilysixxrants September 27, 2011 at 7:59 pm #

        That is too cute! How awesome!:)

  40. Jen and Tonic September 26, 2011 at 4:33 pm #

    Great article!

    #1 is especially true, and I think why people are so wary of internet dating. I’m one of the lucky few who met a REALLY great guy online 🙂

    I actually wrote about this exact subject a couple of weeks ago:

    http://sipsofjenandtonic.com/2011/09/14/how-to-decipher-w4m-personals/

    http://sipsofjenandtonic.com/2011/09/21/how-to-decipher-m4w-personals/

    • emilysixxrants September 26, 2011 at 8:57 pm #

      Thanks for commenting! I will check out your entries shortly!

      P.S. I totally love your username!

  41. Romantic Asian Guy September 26, 2011 at 4:35 pm #

    Thanks for your rules:) I think online dating is the way to go now, especially if you want to spread your seeds far and wide to open yourself to the rest of the world.

    It’s easier to meet people online, but, remember, it takes time to find quality, and that’s especially true for online daters. Patience is key!

  42. Up High Lullaby September 26, 2011 at 4:36 pm #

    That’s really interesting, i guess online dating could be really fun and you’ll have the same chances of finding the right person in real life. There’s something about doing it online that makes the person feel more comfortable and lets them put their guard down.

    • emilysixxrants September 26, 2011 at 9:00 pm #

      I totally agree!

      Thanks for commenting and I’m glad you enjoyed my post! 🙂

  43. PCC Advantage September 26, 2011 at 4:53 pm #

    I LOVE your idea of getting them to take a recent photo of themselves with their camera phone! You’re a sneaky but brilliant one… 😉

    • emilysixxrants September 26, 2011 at 9:01 pm #

      Hahaha Thank you!

      I had to learn that the hard way! 😛

    • wadingacross September 27, 2011 at 9:25 am #

      When I had my online dating ad, I provided several photos – a sort of “through the years” collage. Clean shaven, goatee and beard. One might have even been with long hair – as well as showing that I’m clearly balding.

      If you want to be successful at dating, period, honesty and openness is the best policy, and as recent a photo as possible is a no brainer – though, most people don’t necessarily change year to year looks-wise.

      • emilysixxrants September 27, 2011 at 8:01 pm #

        Honesty is definitely the best policy ALWAYS 🙂

  44. princessvonvoodoo September 26, 2011 at 4:57 pm #

    Totally agree! My husband and I meet online 2 years ago. Good post:)

  45. maxiecole87 September 26, 2011 at 4:59 pm #

    Great article, I might still stick to randomly stalking men through grocery stores and coffee shops until I get the nerve to pretend to ask for the time or something.

    • emilysixxrants September 26, 2011 at 9:02 pm #

      LOL Nice!

    • wadingacross September 27, 2011 at 9:20 am #

      Well… If they’re like me, most men are rather blind and oblivious to women hitting on them in public.

      On at least one occasion I was with friends (a couple) somewhere, and when we left the store they said that the cashier had certainly been hitting on me. I couldn’t believe it. I still don’t believe it.

      There have been times I’ve left a place and wondered whether I was being hit on or not, never sure.

      I think only one time I was sure that a woman was hitting on me – and it creeped me out. She was a co-worker and I was very much not interested. She was weird. It was a little odd being on the receiving end of that evident infatuation or interest.

      I know a single guy whose family continually pesters him about dating and he often comments that he has seen women he’s interested in and he lets them know… only, his idea of “letting them know” is to stand near them… he’s a nice guy, but such a dork – sounds like I used to be.

  46. Kathleen September 26, 2011 at 5:26 pm #

    After several months of online dating, I’ve taken matters into my own hands. Meet the open call for first dates…

    Okcupid is so last year.

    http://wp.me/pAKW0-wI

    Nice post!

    • emilysixxrants September 26, 2011 at 9:08 pm #

      That is such an awesome idea! I love it!

      Just last year alone, I easily went on 10-15 first dates a month. It sounds crazy, but it totally happened. I’ve got stories for days. I can’t wait to see what comes of yours 🙂

  47. Jin roh September 26, 2011 at 5:30 pm #

    Online has been lack luster results for me. It is very, very, hard to get a feel for someone when you are only reading messages. Last time I had a “date” with someone online, she flaked.

    I’ll keep at it though. Not like I have anything to lose by logging on every other day or so.

    • emilysixxrants September 26, 2011 at 9:11 pm #

      I’m sorry to hear you haven’t had much luck, but definitely keep that option open. You never know who you may come across 🙂

      • Jin roh September 26, 2011 at 9:27 pm #

        You know, while I’m at it, if any women on this message board care to share with me what they think is best for “online dating site edict” don’t leave me hanging…

  48. Sisterhood of the Traveling Military Pants September 26, 2011 at 5:38 pm #

    I’m glad I’m not dating, online or otherwise. I’ve known my husband for over a decade and met the old fashioned way…in school. I’m sure it can be great either way, but it can also be scary either way as well!

  49. xxbronzegoddessxx September 26, 2011 at 6:01 pm #

    Great post! I agree with all your points as I have said the same things to myself as well 🙂

  50. . September 26, 2011 at 6:04 pm #

    Very nice post! 😉

  51. Oh God, My Wife Is German September 26, 2011 at 6:08 pm #

    Awesome post! Takes me back…

    Thank you Emily!

  52. tessa September 26, 2011 at 6:37 pm #

    it’s true!
    i mean, i have few experience with online dating, you won’t know them until you met them. i wish people will read this blog, in fact a lots of women get fooled because the fake promise they’ve been told by men.

    and another note from me, please not include your feeling until you see the person face to face not cam to cam.

    • emilysixxrants September 26, 2011 at 9:15 pm #

      Definitely true! You can only go so far via email or web camming. Never commit to anyone until you’ve met them in person.

      Thank you for commenting and I’m glad you enjoyed it ! 🙂

  53. hahigley September 26, 2011 at 7:15 pm #

    I think that this is a post that is interesting and funny, yet informational to people who aren’t that knowledgeable about what people can really be like that they meet on the internet. I like that you wrote things out in list format and included explanations. Great post 🙂

    • emilysixxrants September 26, 2011 at 9:16 pm #

      Thank you so much! I’m glad you enjoyed!

      🙂

  54. Phoenix September 26, 2011 at 7:20 pm #

    Interestingly enough, there are virtual worlds that are being substituted as dating websites. One such virtual world is Second Life and I am a user. It is where I met my current girlfriend who I had known “in-world” for over a year. She lives in a different state than I do and so Second Life is just another way we get to be together and spend time together. Second Life gives us the opportunity to visit Italy and China all in one day–it’s great!

    • emilysixxrants September 26, 2011 at 9:19 pm #

      You bring up a great point! This is so true! My own cousin met his wife on WOW (World of Warcraft)!

      Congrats on your connection! 🙂

  55. shetraces September 26, 2011 at 7:23 pm #

    Very well said, and I agree for the most part. I like how you reiterate that the same lies that can be told online can be told to you by someone you met at the bar…it’s really just about weeding out the fake ones.

    Congrats on being FP!

  56. Hafsa K September 26, 2011 at 7:28 pm #

    Well, I can’t say much about this, as I have never tried it..but nevertheless, this is a really wonderful post and I like it!
    Congratulations on being Freshly Pressed! 🙂

    • emilysixxrants September 26, 2011 at 9:21 pm #

      Why thank you! 🙂

      • Hafsa K September 28, 2011 at 10:56 am #

        My pleasure! 🙂

  57. halfwayto50 September 26, 2011 at 8:24 pm #

    You met someone online at 17? That’s dangerous! Weren’t there boys in your high school worth dating? You have balls girl…

    • emilysixxrants September 26, 2011 at 9:25 pm #

      Haha! I’ve never been known to be too cautious lol

      Well, it really wasn’t intentional, but I did meet someone online at 17 that I connected really well with. He was definitely a lot better than any of the other guys at my school.

      Obviously we didn’t work out in the long run, but he is still one of my closest friends to this day, so it was definitely worth it!

  58. katcamille September 26, 2011 at 8:26 pm #

    I know you shouldn’t judge a post by it’s title but I definitely decided to read this because of the title. And I loved it! Online dating is just so tempting for me because I’m incredibly busy and when I am free I prefer to stay at home and relax. Your post was very insightful and helpful. I’m definitely leaning towards online dating.

    • emilysixxrants September 26, 2011 at 9:26 pm #

      Thank you so much for taking a peek and I’m really glad that you enjoyed it!

  59. MrPopularSentiment September 26, 2011 at 8:30 pm #

    I came at this from a slightly different angle. I’ve never used a dating site, but I met my first for-realsies boyfriend on an online community forum, back when people still used those things. We hit it off right away and started “seeing” each other online. We lived in different countries, so we were in a relationship for the better part of a year before we were able to meet each other in person. I was 16 when we started dating.

    We had zero support from friends and family. My parents and my friends all agreed that he was clearly a stalker/rapist/pedophile, and that he was probably cheating on me with someone local. Well, we stuck it out anyway. For two years, we visited each other as often as we could, but otherwise had to be totally online (and this was in the days before Skype!).

    When we both graduated from high school and decided to move in together, my mother sat me down and told me that knowing someone by text and knowing someone “for real” were two very different things and I shouldn’t get too attached to him. My best friend told me that she “gives it a year.”

    Realizing that we’re not everyone and that a great many online relationships never work out, that boyfriend and I are now married, celebrating our 10 year anniversary later this week, and we have the most super awesome 7month old son ever.

    Long distance online dating is really rough and if I could have met my husband in any other way, I would do it. But we don’t choose how or when love hits. The trick is to recognize it when it does and seize it!

    • emilysixxrants September 26, 2011 at 9:29 pm #

      You could make a movie out of your story!

      Thank you for commenting! I really love hearing success stories..Specially ones like yours where not many people were on your side.

      Congratulations on your son! Many blessings to you and your family 🙂

  60. Day I Started Reading September 26, 2011 at 8:48 pm #

    My opinion on online dating is that it’s fun, but don’t take it too seriously. If you are looking for a serious relationship don’t date online.

    • emilysixxrants September 29, 2011 at 12:35 pm #

      Well, I’m not saying to only date online…What’s the point in that?

      Online is just another outlet to meet people you may not have otherwise run into in person. Once you have a connection with someone online, meet in person, and if there is physical chemistry then by all means, date in person 🙂

      (Sorry for the delayed response. For some reason your comment was marked as Spam)

  61. d September 26, 2011 at 9:06 pm #

    Very insightful and encouraging!

  62. escenafinal September 26, 2011 at 9:10 pm #

    Great post! Social relations are always complicated, doesn’t matter if you meet somebody at the supermarket or on the internet. You just need to be careful when trusting someone. I’ve never had problems to meet guys but I really enjoy the possibility to meet people from all over the world. So many different mindsets and cultures. I actually travel quite a lot but even then I wouldn’t be able to find such good conversations with so many different kinds of people. Lately I’ve used OkCupid and Couchsurfing (this one is not a dating site) and I’ve been lucky enough to meet really great friends (I’ve already met most of them in person), and I’m even falling in love with one of them. There are so many people in the world worth to meet and that’s so easy now, why should we lose the chance?

    • emilysixxrants September 26, 2011 at 9:33 pm #

      I agree!

      Thank you for your comment and I’m glad you enjoyed my post!

      And congratulations on your connection. I wish you the best of luck! 🙂

  63. Timothy Mager September 26, 2011 at 9:24 pm #

    Whatever works helps. This is one of those ways!

  64. romanceotr September 26, 2011 at 9:26 pm #

    I agree! When it comes to online dating it’s a JUNGLE out there!

    • emilysixxrants September 29, 2011 at 12:30 pm #

      Amen!

      (Sorry for the delayed response. For some reason your comment was marked as Spam)

  65. Patia September 26, 2011 at 9:58 pm #

    This is a great article! I’m totally going to forward to my friends and tweet this! I love your trick for getting a current picture!! I think that it’s true, all of the reasons that we hold back from online dating are very much apparent in offline dating. The taboo is over!!

    I’m dying to know though, any lasting love connections via online dating?

    • emilysixxrants September 26, 2011 at 10:05 pm #

      Thank you! I’m glad you enjoyed it that much 🙂

      Personally, I haven’t had any super long relationships with men that I’ve met online.. But I have met better quality men via the internet and the last one I was with, though short-lived, was extremely passionate.

      I will say, that guy I dated when I was 17, though we didn’t end up working out in the romantic department, we are still very close friends to this day. So I can surely say it was worth it!

  66. Sophia Morgan (griffinspen) September 26, 2011 at 10:00 pm #

    I have always been against the idea of online dating, but this post has helped me see things from both sides. My cousin met her husband via an online dating site, and they’re genuinely happy with each other. I guess it really is chance if it works or not. Thanks for sharing! (Though I still don’t think I’ll ever try online dating.) 😉 Congrats on being Pressed!

    • emilysixxrants September 29, 2011 at 12:29 pm #

      Thank you!..and hey, you never knooooow! 🙂

      (Sorry for the delayed response. For some reason your comment was marked as Spam)

  67. achilliad September 26, 2011 at 10:02 pm #

    I have grown my relationship with my fiancee on-line over five-thousand miles, and thanks mainly to a little thing she turned me on to called “Skype” wh share laught, culture, language, highs and lows over the past fifteen months. It helps to use You Tube, sms and email and the good ole landline telephone if you have one.
    Like with anything Humans sell, even ourselves we must “qualify, qualify and re-qualify” until you are in the same space and areacode..and then qualify again. Kidos on getting Pressed like Cafe` Skype Freshly brewed java!

    • emilysixxrants September 26, 2011 at 10:08 pm #

      Thank you so much!

      And congratulations on your connection. I wish you two lots of luck and tons of love 🙂

  68. fukutoshin September 26, 2011 at 10:12 pm #

    I love all the success stories your readers are leaving in your comments. Gives me the confidence that online dating is not just a scammy fluke. Unfortunately for me, I am still getting people who leaves me messages or “like” me and then when I write back, I never got any replies or their accounts are cancelled. Heaven knows why I got them all. And so I cancelled all my accounts and is sitting alone at home wallowing in self-pity for now.

    • emilysixxrants September 26, 2011 at 10:19 pm #

      Aww I’m so sorry it hasn’t worked out for you, but don’t give up! You never know who you may find and who just might reply 🙂

  69. Andre - Flash Cms September 26, 2011 at 10:14 pm #

    I think people will continous using this kind of dating webservices car they prefer to socialize at home and have the choice to select their futur love partners .

  70. Author D.L.Sparks September 26, 2011 at 10:24 pm #

    I never have any luck online. I was thinking about getting my blog readers involved and dating via my blog. Maybe they could help me find Mr. Right. LOL!

  71. Lisa Marie September 26, 2011 at 10:51 pm #

    Love your blog. Interesting and well written. I must admit that while I agree with your points, I met my husband online…Match.com and while we went through a lot of turbulence in our relationship, I’m happy to report we’ve been happily married for almost five years and dated three years before that. So I can honestly say that online dating can work and I’m thankful I don’t have to do it today.

    • emilysixxrants September 27, 2011 at 8:19 am #

      Thanks for commenting! I’m so happy to hear of another success story! The best of luck and love to you! 🙂

  72. jella millado (: September 26, 2011 at 10:57 pm #

    what if the person you’ve been dating on line wants to meet with you ?? :O

    • emilysixxrants September 27, 2011 at 8:20 am #

      Meet with them! The whole point of online dating, to me anyway, is just to find someone online…You can’t really truly date someone until you meet in person and see if you have good chemistry off the phone/computer 🙂

  73. tradebuybag September 26, 2011 at 10:59 pm #

    http://www.tradebuybag.com/ it sounds interesting.

  74. Mint Julep September 26, 2011 at 11:04 pm #

    I just can’t get into online dating. Not that I have a ton of luck in dating outside of online, but I feel like it takes all of the magic out of it. Too logical and not idealistic enough for my taste. I really love your take on it though. You really thought this out!

    • emilysixxrants September 27, 2011 at 8:21 am #

      Yeah, like all things, it’s not for everyone.

      Thanks for commenting and I’m glad you enjoyed!:)

  75. Nova September 26, 2011 at 11:12 pm #

    Great Blog! Please check out mine! http://www.scenergydating.wordpress.com . I blog about the single life and finding love in San Antonio. Just recently started so I would love the inspiration.

  76. honnier September 26, 2011 at 11:13 pm #

    I also met my boyfriend on-line. We are doing long-distance now, and we are happy that we live in 21st century ! 🙂

  77. erinhoyer September 26, 2011 at 11:22 pm #

    Very good! I still find there is a stigma about online dating. I recently let out that I had a ‘meeting’ with a guy I met online. There was a bit of shock from a few ‘OH MY GOD’ but most were quite intrigued. I even had one work friend ask how to join up! I think alot more people are using online dating and are not wishing to let that information go for fear of negativity ‘Oh my god.. What if they’re a rapist?’.. What about that guy you met the other day at a bar and went into the alley with? Haha. If anything, online dating allows you to meet others whom you may not talk to out in ‘reality’ and I think that is really nice. I’m shy when it comes to dating, you’d never see me whilst up to someone and start a random conversation (unless there was booze involved) but I’ve met people from there that I would never have met out there. Well, this is just how I feel it goes in Sydney, Australia.

    • emilysixxrants September 27, 2011 at 8:24 am #

      I totally agree and feel the same way!

      Thanks for commenting! I’m so glad you enjoyed my post 🙂

  78. butterflyafterlife September 26, 2011 at 11:28 pm #

    Great breakdown. I have never done online dating myself, I’m a little hesitate and do not like to spend money on things, unless it’s someone else’s money. I haven’t dated in at least 3 years and even then, I don’t know if I actually call it dating because it was an ex from when I was a lot younger. It’s nice to hear that there are still reliable options.

    I am posting this web series called “101 Dates” from a friend of mine in New Zealand. It’s a comedy about online dating. I think you’ll enjoy it, if you haven’t seen it already.

    http://www.youtube.com/user/101dates

    Cheers!

    • emilysixxrants September 27, 2011 at 8:24 am #

      Sounds very interesting..I’m going to have to check it out!

      Thank you! 🙂

  79. mammabean September 26, 2011 at 11:36 pm #

    Enjoyed your post!

    I met my awesome husband online. We’ve been together for 3.5 years, married for 2 years and we have a 6 month old son.

    There is someone out there for everyone.

    My strategy:

    1. Only date people you approach yourself… Less chance of getting played if you pick.
    2. Only approach people who are new to online dating. They might be back for a second (third, fourth…) round but at least they have a refreshed energy and hopefulness
    3. Only approach men who smile with their teeth showing. They tend to be more natural and at ease with themselves.
    4. Go on a lot of first dates. It’s a numbers game. I can tell how I feel about someone pretty fast. There will be douchebags. Not much you can do about that. Just keep going on first dates.
    5. Never go for coffee. Caffeine makes an awkward situation OH SO MUCH WORSE!
    6. Always tell someone where you are going.

    • emilysixxrants September 27, 2011 at 8:26 am #

      How funny, for the most part I follow those same pointers as well! Good advice for others to read!

      Thanks for commenting and I’m so glad you enjoyed my post!

  80. PrettyGee September 26, 2011 at 11:48 pm #

    Nice post! Never be afraid to take risk and try something new 🙂

  81. WayWordBound September 26, 2011 at 11:58 pm #

    great post! I have been unsuccessfully online dating for a while now lol. Possibly because I have been on plenty of fish! What sites do you recommend or have had the best luck with?

    • emilysixxrants September 27, 2011 at 8:30 am #

      I only ever really use POF when I feel like I need a self esteem booster or am bored out of my mind lol

      Personally, the best results I’ve had were on Match.com. Sign up for the free week and if you want to join, only join for 3 months…However, my advice is to do a search on Google for “Match.com coupons” and you will find links that will give you a nice discount before signing up for the first time. You’ll still get your free week, but then your 3 month (or whichever you choose) membership will be cheaper.

      Cheers!

  82. Elli Writes September 27, 2011 at 12:09 am #

    Hey, congrats on getting freshly pressed! 🙂

    I enjoyed your blog entry. You know, I never really realized just how similar online dating is to traditional dating until after I read this. I’ve never been opposed to online dating. In fact, in some ways it’s easier to get to know someone that way because you’re more caught up in conversation than you are date activities (ie: going to see a movie). But for some reason I always considered online dating “shadier”. It never occurred to me that it really isn’t much different than the risk involved in traditional dating.

    Well, until now. 🙂

    • emilysixxrants September 27, 2011 at 8:32 am #

      Thank you so much Elli!

      I’m really happy to know that my entry was able to merge both worlds together for you.

      Do I see online dating in your future?? 😛

      Cheers!

  83. singleworkingmomswm September 27, 2011 at 12:22 am #

    Ha, I’ve never commented on a blog with over 100 responses, but this subject on Freshly Pressed caught my eye because I met a man I absolutely connected with and fell in love with on Match. I was only on the sight for 3 days and was using my “free trial”. I was leery, being a single mom, but I also felt that at least I could judge for myself prior to meeting the guy in person if I thought he was anything worth exploring. I’ve been burned so badly by men that I “thought I knew” or met through others that knew me, etc. The man I’m dating now is one of the most quality people I’ve ever known. We split for a few months as we both have children, work full time, and have a lot on our plates, but now are spending time together again. It’s worth waiting for! Good luck!

    • emilysixxrants September 27, 2011 at 8:33 am #

      Thank you for commenting!

      Congrats on finding a connection online! All great things take time so you’re on the right track.

      Glad you enjoyed! 🙂

  84. Mo. September 27, 2011 at 12:39 am #

    i feel somehow i was doing it months before“`even i found him being married“`
    btw, online dating is only restricted to some certain kind of people“`those not included in won’t taste the pure fun““

  85. Rifqi September 27, 2011 at 1:05 am #

    I’ve always been a shy, quiet, nerdy kind of guy and the fact that I don’t drink definitely doesn’t help if you’re trying to meet people in the “real” world. I had never had a girlfriend before I started dating online but shortly after doing so I was actually able to go on dates and about a year after that I met my wife and we now have a baby daughter. So online dating definitely works if you’re not into the whole party scene.

    • emilysixxrants September 27, 2011 at 8:34 am #

      Awesome! Another success story in the bag!

      🙂

  86. Loud Mind September 27, 2011 at 1:52 am #

    This is a great post!
    But my story is going to be a bit more different. I’m not going to sit here and act like I haven’t lied about who I was online. Lol! I am very much guilty, but it honestly was just a game to me. I used to send photos of my sister in lieu of mine….or used to lie about my age. At the time I really didn’t think someone would actually want to have a potential relationship with someone they never knew or saw. But once I realized that they were serious, I would tell them the truth and they would either stop contacting me or just curse me a great deal.
    Funny enough I met my current boyfriend online and he is one of the best things that has ever happened to me. We’re going 3 years strong now and I’m glad karma didn’t bite me. 🙂

    • emilysixxrants September 27, 2011 at 8:35 am #

      Oh no! LOL Well I’m very happy for you and glad that it all worked out for you in the end. Congrats! 🙂

      • Loud Mind September 27, 2011 at 11:31 am #

        Thank you :-)!!

  87. YH September 27, 2011 at 2:12 am #

    This is very thought-provoking… Gives me something to think about.

  88. Sylvester James LeBlanc September 27, 2011 at 3:29 am #

    I just recently joined Ok.cupid and I was (and still am) a little nervous about meeting potential others on the website. But I’ll stick to my guns, no doubt about it.

    Thanks!!!

  89. Barn Weddings September 27, 2011 at 3:44 am #

    Great ideas and point of view. Actually dating online could create advantage and disadvantage to everyone trying it. Advantage is you can make friends easily but the disadvantage is that you may not know if the person has a good intention or bad intention on you. So better know him/her personally. 😀

    • emilysixxrants September 27, 2011 at 10:39 am #

      Yes, you never commit to anyone you meet online until you’ve met them in person. Even then you will never truly know what their intentions are…but that goes for anyone else you may meet in person.

      Always a gamble either way.

      Thanks for reading and commenting! 🙂

  90. noirai September 27, 2011 at 4:05 am #

    I love what you’ve written here!
    I once dated online but I never actually met that guy. I busted the relation as soon as I realized online dating can be one of the most idiotic thing one can do.sometimes I think and I laugh at myself! 🙂

    • emilysixxrants September 27, 2011 at 10:40 am #

      If it’s not for you, it’s not for you lol

      Thanks for reading and commenting! 🙂

  91. y September 27, 2011 at 4:10 am #

    Nice post. I could relate! I’ve met a lot of people online, some became my good friends and others more than friends. My last relationship online lasted for about 5 years but we haven’t met in person yet until now. He lives in another country(India) and it’s just hard to meet even though we really wanted to. We just settled for skype or other messengers or text or phone calls..send our latest photos and web camming. But hings didn’t work out for some complicated reasons (religion/culture)… I’m still in love with him though until now. 😦 and because of that I’m not looking for anyone to date (online or in person) anymore.

    Btw, congrats on being on FP.

    • emilysixxrants September 27, 2011 at 10:42 am #

      I’m sorry it didn’t work out for you two :-/

      And you’re smart for giving yourself time to heal.

      I wish you all the best and hope that love finds your way soon 🙂

  92. thiet ke noi that dep September 27, 2011 at 4:11 am #

    It’s cute. Great post. Congrats on FP!

  93. gaycarboys September 27, 2011 at 4:17 am #

    Where would we be without the net. We would have to go out and meet people face to face? LOL

    • emilysixxrants September 27, 2011 at 10:49 am #

      LOL Well, the net is just a way of finding someone who seems interesting that you may have otherwise never run into. The hard part is connecting in person, but if you do then it was all totally worth it 🙂

  94. fabulousat5thavenue September 27, 2011 at 4:39 am #

    A very interesting post…to the extent that it brought back a memory of an old flame,that I met online.Most of it holds true..taking it slow and being cautious with regards to exchanging information.Thank my stars till today that the guy was honest and decent!!

    Sadly though it was my 1st and last online relationship,though we lasted for 4 whole yrs in the real world,in the end we realised we were two very different people,who wanted very different things in life!!Well guess it depends how right the person is for you.To be honest,never signed into an online dating site after that,but yes was worth the experience!! 🙂

    • emilysixxrants September 27, 2011 at 10:53 am #

      Everything in life is a learning experience. I’m sorry it didn’t work out for you, but I’m happy to see you are still very positive about it. Wisdom is the best thing we could ever walk away with from any relationship.

      Thanks for commenting and I’m glad you enjoyed my post!

  95. Jaina September 27, 2011 at 4:39 am #

    Great post with great tips. I’ve been doing online dating for a few years and at 27 I’m beginning to fall out of love with online dating. In the beginning it was great being able to meet guys I wouldn’t necessarily meet in my day to day life.

    I found that match.com has an equal chance of having weirdy beardy types as say okcupid.com, but having met up with guys from both, I think the best tip is only meet with someone who you feel comfortable with meeting with. Oh and also tell a friend you’re going out and tell them you might need an “emergency” to cut the date short, if things get really excruciating!

    • emilysixxrants September 27, 2011 at 10:54 am #

      Haha yes indeed! You always need a Plan B when meeting someone for the first time!

      Thanks for commenting! Glad you enjoyed my post 🙂

  96. ennospace September 27, 2011 at 4:55 am #

    It is also a world of online shopping!!

  97. corzgalore September 27, 2011 at 4:57 am #

    I have only tried online dating once and the guy ended up stalking me. Kind of turned me off to the idea for me, but I still think it is a great idea for other people. I see the concept as one that truly could do a lot of good for someone. I just got that 1% chance creep.

    • emilysixxrants September 27, 2011 at 11:12 am #

      Oooh Sorry to hear that. I’m not exaggerating when I say that I have easily gone on over 50 first dates and have communicated with many more online that never made it to a first date and have only acquired about 3 net stalkers lol

      Some were a little more intense than others, but hey, I’ve had more stalkers that I’ve met offline than online. I too guess it’s just my luck!

      Thanks for commenting 🙂

  98. Nastasja September 27, 2011 at 5:03 am #

    Well, I’ve been dating online for many years, too. But after several failed and rather short relationships I decided to quit. I had even more friends offline; still I do not deny the success of online-dating. I even know myself many friends who found their big love this way.

    I wouldn’t work with me, too. Who knows, maybe I’m just complicated 😀
    Nice entry, I loved it.

    Cheerio.

    • emilysixxrants September 27, 2011 at 12:14 pm #

      Thank you for your comment and I’m glad you enjoyed my entry!

      Cheers! 🙂

  99. ava812 September 27, 2011 at 5:08 am #

    If I’m still single right now, I will give online dating a try. 🙂 Great post. Very relatable arguments. Congratulations!

    • emilysixxrants September 29, 2011 at 12:27 pm #

      Haha! Thank you!! 🙂

      (Sorry for the delayed response. For some reason your comment was marked as Spam)

  100. greatlakessocialist September 27, 2011 at 5:34 am #

    I would but I don’t like the interent. Too much light.

  101. Shirley Sheep September 27, 2011 at 5:50 am #

    I meet my boyfriend on Match.com, I’ve told my friends how we met but to his I have to say we met at a bar. Boring.

  102. Fiona.q September 27, 2011 at 5:51 am #

    you are all true about the arguments. but if it happens, i still feel it’s fine to have online dates 🙂 life needs risk.

    • emilysixxrants September 27, 2011 at 12:15 pm #

      Definitely!

      Thanks for commenting! So glad you enjoyed my entry 🙂

  103. Angec2011 September 27, 2011 at 8:18 am #

    Great piece here, and i have to say i have been with my fella for 9 half years, we met via Lycos (love @ lycos god how cheesy) but i do remember chatting to blokes and adding them to my msn messenger, once on there they were smutty, rude and pervy and i was like oops block icon clicked, my partner was and is not pervy, one of those nice gents you think never exist (that actually do) and plus he puts up with me (somebody has to).

    well done for freshly pressed!

    • emilysixxrants September 27, 2011 at 12:16 pm #

      Aww that’s awesome! Congrats on your awesome relationship!

      So glad you liked my entry! 🙂

  104. Rai September 27, 2011 at 8:33 am #

    I love that you addressed this. It makes me angry when older adults talk about the “dangers” of the internet like they actually know anything, and us kids are expected to just shut up and believe them. I actually met my current boyfriend on Craigslist, which sounds super sketchy, but I was vacationing somewhere for the summer and wanted to meet people. It wasn’t a romantic ad, and he was the only one out of over 40 responses who suggested I join his friends for something. Hanging out in a group. It was so unusual that I decided to meet him. So, I completely agree with you that, while some rules may have changed, we can adapt and be perfectly fine.

    • emilysixxrants September 27, 2011 at 12:29 pm #

      Wooh! Craigslist?! You are more brave than I am! But hey, it worked out and I’m happy for you!

      You truly never know where you’re going to find that special someone.

      Congrats to you and I’m so glad you enjoyed my post 🙂

  105. xybattJim September 27, 2011 at 8:42 am #

    Good observations! The important thing to remember is that “dating” has always been full of risk. Unfortunately, in our fast moving world, we have to form life long relationships with strangers…..difficult. I write on my BLOG of the issues and difficulties of being single. Would love feedback! http://www.launchsingles.wordpress.com

    • emilysixxrants September 27, 2011 at 12:38 pm #

      Thank you! I will definitely check it out! 🙂

  106. wadingacross September 27, 2011 at 8:57 am #

    I tried a couple dating sites but had success with a Christian one – loveandseek.com I believe it was (I don’t know if it still exists).

    I went on a few dates, one created a short term friendship that was a little awkward, one we both figured out on that date it just wasn’t a fit, and the third, well, it was apparent very quickly that something was going on.

    My wife and I met thru the above mentioned Christian dating site. We had a long distance relationship, not meeting for a month or more after we first started talking to each other. When you’re spending hours IM’ing, emailing and many hours talking on the phone before you ever actually meet, that’s usually a good sign. We were quite honest with each other and I drove twelve hours to see her. That first time we met, everything just seemed “right”.

    Six months after we first began talking, I moved to be near her and 11 months after we’d first talked we were married. We’ve been married now for six years and have four kids.

    I think part of what made the whole situation work for us was that we’d both reached a point that we were going to relax and try to enjoy being single, not worrying about searching. We both were no longer stressed. She found me, coming across my listing, and initially I ignored her – which she still teases me about.

    Online dating can definitely be a challenge and a bit discomforting – no one responding is/feels like rejection – and it’s not for everyone. Were my wife to die I do not believe I’d do internet dating again and it’s nothing against her at all – quite the contrary actually.

    I think that as long as both parties are open, honest and share core values and beliefs, a relationship can work and possibly will start – and being attracted to each other doesn’t hurt either!!! I think some of the problems of internet dating is that too many people are not being honest with themselves or others and aren’t sharing values and beliefs. Instead, it’s often about looks and getting a hook-up.

    A relationship built on looks and sex will not last.

    • emilysixxrants September 27, 2011 at 12:40 pm #

      Beautiful! I love hearing success stories like yours! You also bring up some good points.

      Thanks for commenting and I’m so glad you enjoyed my post 🙂

  107. Heather September 27, 2011 at 9:03 am #

    Well I have to commend you on writing such a post. I’ve tapped the online dating portal myself and had some memorable experiences. To be honest, I’ve even called those chat lines when I was really desperate just for some cheap entertainment (entertainment – not THAT kind though LOL).

    You make some great points – people often shun online dating due to the anonymity that the computer provides and online profiles can be faked but aside from appearance, you can fake almost anything anytime, regardless of where you meet!

    I am honest almost to a fault in some ways – i.e. I decided to be very up front about my appearance. I thought that would weed out the ones I wasn’t interested in or that absolutely wouldn’t be interested in me. Nope. Guys thought I was lying just to dissuade the pigs.

    Here are the experiences I’ve had and where from:

    One I gave specific details to and sent photos but upon meeting he totally wasn’t prepared. We’re still friends though.
    Two I met only as friends – I don’t talk to either of them. Neither talked much to me during but one was more genuinely shy. I think neither saw a photo prior.
    One I met and we were interested in each other but it didn’t work out for other reasons. (In fact, there were at least 2 that were EXACTLY as anticipated merely based on conversations back in IM days.) He’d seen a photo prior.
    Another I met and was with for almost 5 years. A nice guy when he wanted to be, but had a LOT of hangups. Immature and lied a lot. I don’t even remember if I sent him a photo before we first met. It’s odd that I almost forgot to mention him even though I have the most memories with him versus all these other one or two date deals.
    (Those were all via chat rooms, “back in the day” LOL)
    One I met via OkCupid – one of the only 2 messages I can recall ever receiving. He acted very into me initially and suddenly wanted nothing to do with me. He’d seen a photo prior.
    Three I met via one of those phone lines (yes I actually dared to) – one acted interested in a relationship, was only into something casual, still was a fairly decent guy but I don’t still talk to him. One was interested in me and was a very nice guy, I wasn’t as interested through no fault of his. One I hung out with one night and that was it, another “acted like they wanted a relationship but really didn’t”. None of these saw a photo prior, we’d only talked on the phone.
    One I met via an eHarmony trial – he’d cheated and slipped his email address into his profile in a crafty way and I didn’t go for a paid membership so I emailed him and we met up. He was a nice guy and was apparently into me but I didn’t feel like we’d hit it off very well. I wasn’t as interested. I don’t think he’d seen a photo prior.
    Aaaannd… One guy I started chatting with some 10 years ago, he and I talked on the phone, exchanged a couple photos. Stopped talking for awhile (long story), then started back up again a few years back and now we’re together – for the past 3+ years. 🙂

    It can work. Like you said, gut instinct!!! You can pick up certain characteristics online or over the phone just like you can with body language. And especially by paying attention to how people describe their actions and interactions with other people. A lot of times people will think about what they say but not necessary how they say it and it’s those times when they can easily trip up and give away details about their self that they’d probably rather keep private.

    Wow, sorry, I didn’t mean to write such a loooooooooong comment. Whew. I’m done.

    • emilysixxrants September 27, 2011 at 12:46 pm #

      Thanks for commenting!

      At the end of the day, it’s all a game of numbers. Sometimes the first one you meet is a hit, other times you have to go through at least 20 before you meet one of substance, but same goes for those you bump into in person.

      Congratulations on your connection! I wish you two lots of luck and love! 🙂

  108. theresherambleson September 27, 2011 at 9:18 am #

    Wow I figured all of that out in the three months I’ve been trying online dating. I have a profile on one of those free sites, since I can’t afford the paid ones, and it’s definitely true that you have to weed out 9 out of 10 people who are looking to hook up. My parents freaked out about me meeting people online but like you said, meeting people in person can have some of the same dangers as meeting them online. Anyway, very interesting post!

    • emilysixxrants September 27, 2011 at 1:07 pm #

      Thank you! Glad you liked my post and agree 🙂

  109. fluffymocchi September 27, 2011 at 9:32 am #

    I never really taken online dating seriously. I’ve been on it once for like 10 days and it was just merely seeing who’s out there. Within that 10 days. I have creepy guys messaging you from all around the world………………so yes. I deleted my account. Great post

    • Andreas Moser September 27, 2011 at 11:38 am #

      Wow, you look gorgeous. I’d love to date you 😉

    • emilysixxrants September 27, 2011 at 1:15 pm #

      Haha yeah it can definitely get creepy at times!

      Thanks for commenting! Glad you liked my post 🙂

  110. Ashley September 27, 2011 at 10:01 am #

    I’ve met great FRIENDS online. It can turn into relationships, but I’d rather meet people in person. Maybe I’m old school, at 24, I am the generation of mid-innovation (my own made up word) being I’ve seen the transition from AOL chat rooms to Twitter and can still use them all. As for the generation coming up, online dating will simply be HOW it’s done. So long admired 50 year marriages inspired from the 60’s,

    • emilysixxrants September 27, 2011 at 8:21 pm #

      So true!

      I too remember the old AOL chat room days lol Crazy how quickly the net has evolved.

      Thanks for commenting! 🙂

  111. chinesetea2 September 27, 2011 at 10:20 am #

    Oh my goodness that is crazy! And I thought some of the guys I met online were weird!

  112. Lindsay | The Daily Awe September 27, 2011 at 10:39 am #

    I met my first partner online. I’m not above it or against it. But I do feel like internet dating is very “forced”. I’d rather let the chips fall as they may and meet people organically. I’ve used online dating (or tried to) a couple of times in the past few years, but I always end up massively disappointed. It’s only when I meet people naturally that it feels right to me.

    I guess I’m old fashioned in that way.

    • emilysixxrants September 27, 2011 at 8:26 pm #

      It’s certainly not for everyone. Keep doing what you think is best for you 🙂

  113. Gerard September 27, 2011 at 11:06 am #

    Your post is very informative. I’ve thought about on-line dating but I’ve never tried it. I might check it out.

    • emilysixxrants September 27, 2011 at 8:26 pm #

      Go for it! You’ve got nothing to lose! 🙂

  114. Andreas Moser September 27, 2011 at 11:36 am #

    Here’s my online dating profile: http://www.okcupid.com/profile/smartandfunny6 😉

  115. Amanda September 27, 2011 at 11:51 am #

    This is great! I tried online dating for several years and had some good experiences with it and some not so good with it. Your post was funny and very truthful! Nice work and congrats on being freshly pressed!

    Amanda
    http://bullfrogsandbulldogs.wordpress.com/

    • emilysixxrants September 27, 2011 at 8:32 pm #

      Thank you! I will check your blog out shortly! 🙂

  116. glitterglee September 27, 2011 at 12:48 pm #

    The truth is, online dating scares me. 🙂
    But yeah, love knows no boundaries. But the only disadvantage of online dating is that you cannot have that ‘personal touch’ with your date. Lol. 🙂 You cannot look at their eyes to see it yourself if they’re telling the truth or not. But as what you said, it’s a gamble. Well, love is a gamble, anyway. :)) Keep posting!

    • emilysixxrants September 27, 2011 at 8:35 pm #

      Thanks so much!

      One thing I didn’t really specify on my entry, which I wish I had, was that I really wasn’t talking about online dating as a long distance thing. Though, I know it does work for some. I only talk to people who are up to 20 miles away from me so that once we hit it off online and on the phone we can take the next step and meet in person to see if the chemistry is there…and if it is, make it more about being together in person.

      Glad you liked my post! Thanks for commenting! 🙂

  117. darcydates September 27, 2011 at 12:52 pm #

    Ah yes, one of my favorite topics to write about. Good advice and you are right, without the risk you will never get the reward!

  118. Erin Jamison September 27, 2011 at 1:05 pm #

    I have dated halfheartedly online for 7 or 8 years now and I have to say, I have met the most amazing characters. People are truly funny, even the weird ones and I think they are great for character inspiration. Some people would never believe that people are as crazy as the characters writers describe in a book.

    I prefer the anonymity of online dating because I can be as picky as I want to be, and vice versa, and there aren’t any of my girlfriends around telling me to give a guy a chance when I know I’m not into him. I really only talk to guys I’m interested in. I’ve tried the free and paid sites and I agree that serious minded people primarily are the ones registering for a paid dating site.

    • emilysixxrants September 27, 2011 at 8:52 pm #

      Well said! Thanks for commenting and I’m glad you enjoyed my post!

      Cheers! 🙂

  119. thesinglesscoreboard September 27, 2011 at 1:48 pm #

    Online dating is a great venue for meeting singles! Who wouldn’t want to be able to “wink” at hotties while lounging in your PJs and brushing your teeth.

    • emilysixxrants September 29, 2011 at 12:26 pm #

      Lord knows I have lol

      (Sorry for the delayed response. For some reason your comment was marked as Spam)

  120. Big Sauce Radio (@bigsauceradio) September 27, 2011 at 2:48 pm #

    Who knew you were the online dating expert? !!!! Great article – makes me glad to NOT be single 🙂

    • emilysixxrants September 29, 2011 at 12:25 pm #

      Thanks doll!!!

      (Sorry for the delayed response. For some reason your comment was marked as Spam)

  121. lolabees September 27, 2011 at 10:56 pm #

    What a fun topic! I saw my husband on line and hesitantly joined just so I could meet him! Obviously it was a success. I went out with 1 other guy from the site but didn’t go past a 2nd date because I wanted to pursue the relationship with my now husband. Years later I ended up working at the same office with the other guy. So out of the 2 guys I ever went out with, one became my life partner and the other became my work partner. Really, it’s not as weird as it sounds 😉

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    • emilysixxrants September 29, 2011 at 12:24 pm #

      Thank you so much for that! So glad you like it! 🙂

      (Sorry for the delayed response. For some reason your comment was marked as Spam)

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      Thank you so much!!!

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  124. daisyfrancesca September 28, 2011 at 11:44 am #

    Really interesting. I haven’t felt for or against online dating, and know quite a few people who have done it. My cousin actually met her (now) husband online. I even had a professor who met her husband online as well. I think that if you’re open to love then it doesn’t matter where you met- as long as you do it safely of course.

  125. RAPHAEL KSOBIECH September 28, 2011 at 5:43 pm #

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  126. nylonbites September 28, 2011 at 9:34 pm #

    it’s funny how the different sites differ though. guardian soulmates is all cerebral, deep thinkers who, whilst not always lookers, manage to win you with witty profiles and extended email banter. on the other hand, MySingleFriend is just hottyville; bankers and models galore. one more to add to the mix for dating parties(if brave enough!) and venue advice, http://www.socialconcierge.co.uk

  127. Wink2Date September 29, 2011 at 3:40 pm #

    Online dating is the future of dating, embrace it, it will only get more popular people don’t see it as an unusual way of meeting singles anymore, don’t knock it until you try it where else can you have access to millions of singles at once, that’s what I like about online dating I am an extremely busy person and if I were to try and replicate the impact and ease of online dating in my social life I would literally pass out by the 10th conversation lol

    Regarding the fake pictures section, always ask to go onto webcam before considering meeting somebody from online, just to be safe and always meet in a public place.

  128. immaturegirl91 September 29, 2011 at 10:15 pm #

    what if they act totally different in real than online? I knew a friend once who had an online relationship with someone for two years but when they finally decided to meet in real life, they realized just how different they were offline (he was dead quiet and obsessed with his gadgets) and she was much more shy and at the end of the day, they realized how different social pressures of reality and online made them act differently and split

  129. realanonymousgirl2011 September 30, 2011 at 1:09 am #

    I met my husband before this realm of dating became more main stream. I’ve always wanted to try it. Good Luck!

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  131. Olivemore September 30, 2011 at 1:37 pm #

    I don’t really think #3-4 are good arguments for online dating.

    #3- How do you know they don’t just want sex? I think this pertains to all men. Not just those online.

    #4- How do you know he won’t go for other people online? If you had met him in real life and he’d asked for your phone number, how do you know if he as well would not do that to other woman?

    Those aren’t really online issues. They’re just relationship issues. But good post.
    (I agree, I hate it when people post photos of themselves and you know they don’t really look like that) lol

  132. mooselicker October 1, 2011 at 10:36 am #

    Most people that do online dating now are just shy or closeted socially. I think as long as you see they are attached to one social networking website with a lot of pictures and real friends then you’re at least safe from a murder.

  133. Ermilia October 2, 2011 at 10:32 am #

    My first online dating experience was for my senior prom. I’m 6’3″ and despite a graduating class of 500, the only guys in the school taller than me where my X-bf and my X-bf’s brother. I had a date shorter than me who backed out when he got teased for being 2 inches shorter. It was humiliating and I was determined to have a good prom one way or another. This addresses an argument you may have overlooked: safety. Given, meeting someone in a bar can be just as dangerous as meeting someone from online, but in both situations there is a safe way to go about it. When he came to meet me for the first time, we met in public at the bookstore where my mom worked. My brother (6’6″ and built) accompanied us as we got lunch, all of this after months of e-mail and phone chatting. When we went to prom I drove my car and we went in a group.

    I’m 23 now and have not been online dating for the last 3 years because I met my current boyfriend the old fashioned way, but I would return to it if he and I break up. Another good thing to note is that some sites are much better than others. I only have experience on one, but I know enough people with a variety of experience on different sites to say for sure that what one site offers and the clientele they bring in will not match for everyone.

    My two cents.
    Thanks for sharing your experience.

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  135. comingeast October 6, 2011 at 8:05 pm #

    Well stated.

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  138. smashlynn October 12, 2011 at 4:42 pm #

    Haha, I love your article! You sum up the arguments I had against online dating and somehow make them sound fantastically funny and entertaining. Perhaps the next time I’m single I’ll give online dating a try. I can’t wait to read your next post!

  139. eonstevens October 14, 2011 at 2:29 am #

    I have a few friends who kept on telling me that I should not meet anyone I just saw on the internet. Some gave me derogatory remark telling me that I should be ashamed of myself for trying online dating. And I was like: “What the hell do you want me to do? If I just sit my ass without doing anything, I wouldn’t meet anyone I’ll like.” I agree that online dating can be a little risky, but you should already know that the moment you hit the sign up button. Don’t ask stupid! You went there for a reason, to take a risk and find your most-awaited prince charming or, if you get unlucky, your most feared douche bags. But hey, that’s life. Sometimes you’re lucky, sometimes you’re not.

    Regarding your first argument, I have to say that there will be nobody in a dating site who will tell you their flaws there and then. Why would you tell someone you’re afraid of this and you don’t like this? Of course, the initial response you’ll do is to impress him/her! Although, more often than not, the people who try to impress me fail because they forget to realize that there’s a thin line between impressing someone and being too cocky.

    Regarding your second argument, some people find it insulting, but hey, that’s just the way it’s supposed to be! You can’t be too complacent and be stupid. I’ve been a victim of a poser once, he showed me a picture of an attractive man. When I agreed to meet him, I was dumbfounded when I realized he’s a poser. So there, I learned my lesson the hard way. If you’re new to online dating, then it’s not wrong to be cautious. If you’re already an expert in this, you need no advice from anyone.

    Regarding your third argument, you can easily see through anyone. I have an account on one of this dating site, and when I open my inbox, I get messages like: “Where do you live?”, “Let’s have sex”, “Do you want to meet”, and the like. Come on, you should not entertain messages like these. What if they have AIDS and they just want you to have it too? Then you’re doomed!

    Regarding your fourth argument, I agree with you. Finding someone is not really easy. It’s trial and error. If you’re lucky and you found someone who wants you because he loves you, and not because he’s horny, then good for you. If you found someone who pretends he like you to get you laid, and get others laid too, without your knowledge, then there’s only one word you have to carry out: MOVE! You don’t deserve someone like him!

    Online dating is fun. You get to meet all sorts of people. From douche, trying hard, arrogant, and nice people. Oh, sometimes you get psychopaths too (but this happens rarely)! So whatever you do, you should be careful. Act as if you’re not new to the dating scene, because it’s the only thing that can protect you from any harm. Enjoy dating!

    By the way, I enjoyed your post. 🙂

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