I’m no one’s second choice!

3 Nov

**All names have been changed to protect identity**

Quite some time ago while I was actively searching for love on Match.com, I received a really amazing email from an Indian man named Sayeed.  It was a little longer than I like my icebreakers to be, but he was so well written, talked about a lot of the things I had mentioned on my profile and said just enough about himself to really intrigue me.  I checked out his profile and he seemed pretty interesting, but when it came down to his photos, I just couldn’t tell if I’d be physically attracted to him or not.

After a bit of thought, I decided I’d wait a few days to respond because I already had a date planned for the following evening with a Bavarian man, named Aldric.  I wanted to see what would come of our first date before initiating anything with Sayeed.

The day of,  Aldric suggested that we meet at a place called Green Street Cafe in Coconut Grove, and even though I didn’t really like the venue due to it’s pretentiousness and yuppie customer-base I agreed.  You can’t say I’m not a good sport!

Being the only Cuban in Miami not running on Cuban Time, I arrived early and sat at a table on the outside and ordered a drink while I waited for Aldric to arrive.  As I sat there I couldn’t help but notice a man standing at the bar in front of me.  He had a deep tan, gorgeous long wavy hair and was dressed up in a sexy suite.  For a while I could only see part of his face, but when he turned around I nearly choked on my drink !  It was Sayeed, and he was beautiful!!!

Now, the longer I waited the more I worried about Sayeed recognizing me and totally ruining my date with Aldric, but after a little while I realized what was really going on here.  He wasn’t going to notice me at all!   He was acting very nervous and kept looking around.  He brushed his hair with his hands repeatedly and kept looking at his phone….Yup!  He was there waiting for a date as well!

Sayeed’s date arrived a little before Aldric did so of course I had to scope her out.  She too was from India and was incredibly beautiful. I couldn’t hate!  They actually made a really cute couple.

Aldric eventually arrived and we had our date.  He was really sweet and it went well enough for me to agree to a second date, but now my eyes were setting on Sayeed as well.  I had to meet him!  I had to see what he was all about!

The next day I decided to respond to Sayeed’s email without making any mention of Green Street .  We went back and forth for a while and eventually moved on to the phone. We hit it off and in time, decided to meet each other in person.  On this date, however, I called the shots on the location and decided we’d meet at Transit Lounge.  For those of you not familiar with Transit (which is now closed) it was the coolest dive bar/live music venue in Miami.

Once again, I was the first one there, but this time I did not run into any other Match.com-ers.  At one point in the night, I did bring up the Green Street story and we had a great laugh.  Turns out that was his first date through Match.com and he was beyond nervous.   In the end, Sayeed and I  hit it off quite well and before getting into my car, I agreed to see him again.

A few days passed and we continued to chat, but no solid plans were made for the second date.  , Sayeed finally sent me a message saying that he had decided to take the other girl seriously and could no longer see me, but wanted to remain friends.  Of course, that was fine by me.  If it’s not meant to be, I am not one to force it!

However, two weeks later, Sayeed reached out to me again.  Turns out that after he decided to get serious about the other girl, she decided to get serious with someone she had met before him!  He now wanted to see if I’d like to go on our second date!  Hahahhaa!  As if I’d totally allow myself to be someone’s second choice!  My response was “Thanks, but no thanks. ”

And then I called up Aldric.

7 Responses to “I’m no one’s second choice!”

  1. nikkix2 November 3, 2011 at 10:58 pm #

    Hahaha,,good call,,,be nobody’s second girl!
    Unless, you really think you could hit it off with this person,,,be choosy in this,,,there is exceptions in the dating field,,and remember you both are playing the field,,and it is called “dating”,,,if you think you might be able to hit it off,,,I say give him a chance.
    Good luck,,,and dish what you decide!

    • emilysixxrants November 3, 2011 at 11:04 pm #

      Thanks for commenting, doll 🙂

      This happened a little over a year ago…I did not take Sayeed up on the second date. Yeah, we hit it off and all, but I couldn’t stomach the thought of being his second choice. Sorry…with me it’s first or none haha

      How did your date go??

      • nikkix2 November 3, 2011 at 11:42 pm #

        No prob,,,your young, and live in a state with lots of available young men,,lol

        Ok,,about that date,,,first off,,let me say that I don’t like,,,tiny,,boney men,,,I like them with meat,,,and ok,,I will even go with the “husky’ term.

        His, pics portrayed him that way,,and that he was a man that wore a “uniform” read,,,provincial (aka “state”) police officer,,,was a plus.

        However,,when you show up at a date,,,and the first thing you do is show the girl your badge,,to “confirm” that you “indeed” are a officer—–is the first , fail.

        #2,,,when you indeed are a good 100 pounds bigger than the pics .
        you portrayed yourself in previous pics.


        However,,, I hung in there,,because we had, had some good phone conversations.
        Yah,,,fail on that too,,,cause he continued, to go on about his wonderful job,,and promotions,,,and then was nice enough to go on about how my job that I am now at is beneath me,and how I can do better.

        Hello,,,asshole,,,,,I don’t need to be told that!!!

        Mr,. I work for the gov”t and have too much benefits,,,,uggghhhh. look at what’s really going on out there,,,,,,this beneath me job,,,at least provides me with health,dental and life benefits,,as well as stock and life ins benefits.
        Look what’s really out there bozo,,,and all the people that can’t get jobs.
        At least I have a job that I can rely on getting a cheque every 2 weeks,,,and they provide me benefits.

        I have many single female friends that would kill for this right now.

        Sorry for the rant,,lol.

        So,,in the end,,,it was a ok date,,and I got to sample the new Kelsy’s Menu,,which we both agreed sucked!

  2. runitjojo November 3, 2011 at 11:42 pm #

    Some guys have no brains…can’t settle for second place when it comes to love. I’m totally with you — first or none!

  3. Muse Photos November 3, 2011 at 11:48 pm #

    I remember when that happened. Yep so not worth it. You snooze you lose Sayeed!!! LOL

    • Unrelenting Amee November 16, 2011 at 4:21 am #

      Way to go, Emily!! This happened to me earlier this year, with a good male friend that I liked. Unfortunately, we completely ruined our friendship by dating. The hilarious thing is that he tried to dump me for his ex-gf, who I am friends with! Not close friends, but facebook friends– enough to compare notes and find out what’s going on: we were being played.

      The funny thing is, we both would have been fine with him dating others, if he had been open with us about it. As they say, the cover-up is always worse than the crime. We both confronted him, and she and I became better friends. That was awesome, because he was livid that we didn’t hate each other over him. I told him, “I’m not your consolation prize,” and I’m proud of that. Not worth it!

      • emilysixxrants November 17, 2011 at 7:22 pm #

        Hah! What a work of art that guy is lol

        I’m glad the situation worked out the way it did for you. Always better to walk out of a breakup with the upper hand 😛

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