Tag Archives: Sex

How I Became an Online Dating Addict

20 Oct

This week, instead of giving you the 101′s and ABC’s of online dating, I’d like to take a different approach and share my story with you; The reason behind why I became so enthralled with it all and why it works for me.  And in order to do so, I must start from the beginning:

As a senior in high school I was quite the character, to say the least.  I was an Honor Roll student, 1st Lieutenant in the JROTC, crazy about live Punk and Ska shows and addicted to the internet.  I don’t quite recall how I came across my first online dating site, but I do remember what it was called; “Face The Jury.”

On this site you would post photos of yourself with a short bio and other members would judge you on a scale of 1-10.  Personally, my score always ranged between an 8 and 8.4 (pats self on back).  I don’t believe that FTJ was ever a traditional online dating site, but it is indeed how I met my first internet crush.  Obviously, I don’t really need to go into much detail to say that we did not quite work out, but we are still very close friends to this day and I do not regret one second of it.

Shortly after that experience I was introduced to Myspace (another non-traditional online dating site) and little by little I started making new virtual friends and meeting them in person.  I dated a few of them, again nothing really worked out in the long run, but my experience there was just a warm up for what was in store for me in the future.

It wasn’t until a few years later that I really started to get hooked.  Up until then, I saw online dating as a reliable source, but by no means was it my priority since I would go out several times a week and party like a mad woman.  I would meet men in person everywhere I’d go thanks to my “life of the party” attitude and being an extreme extrovert.  But this all would soon change.

I’ve always been the type of person who’d jump around from industry to industry, earning me a very diverse resume, but in 2009 my career change went from one extreme to another.  I went from being a Trusted Agent with Homeland Security to becoming a Bartender.

Bartending was something I had always been interested in and as soon as I became certified I landed an excellent job at an Irish Pub.  I worked Thursday – Monday nights and only had Tuesdays and Wednesdays off.  Of course all of my friends had normal jobs and stayed in on my nights off and I refused to date any customers, so my chances of meeting men in person went down-hill.

What was a girl to do??  Well, this girl jumped back onto the Online Dating Wagon and joined Match.com (for the third time, but this time I went in for the kill)!  As soon as I joined my inbox was full of emails from men complimenting me, asking me out on dates and some even borderline professing their love for me.  Of course, I milked this to the extreme.  I was getting to know men from all walks of life and from all over the world; Cuba, Venezuela, Italy, Bavaria,  Austria, India, and much, much more.

I immediately started going on dates on my days off or before my shifts started on the weekends.  On a slow week I’d go on two dates, but my average was four to five dates a week, all with different men.

Now, I know some of you must be thinking “What a little slut.”  Well, sorry to burst your bubble, but that would be far from the case.  Sure I was talking to and dating multiple men at once, but most of them did not make it past that first date, and even less made it past a second.

So, with such little success, why did I continue to date this way?  Well, I saw it as a game of numbers.  If you go on enough dates, you’re bound to meet at least one man that could shine and stand out amongst the others; Aside from the fact that it was just all around fun and exciting.

Mass online dating also helped me figure out exactly what kind of man/qualities I’m looking for.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not one of those girls who walks around with an unrealistic checklist entitled, “The Perfect Man”.  There is no such thing as perfect, but dating at high volumes did help me narrow it down to the most important traits in a short amount of time and help me realize that I should never settle for anything less than what I know I deserve.  And I’d much rather be single and happy than to be in a relationship with someone I know is not 100% meant for me.

Once again I find myself single and with a complicated schedule.  This time I am able to meet men on the random if I wanted to since I have weekends off.  However, I have now become really stand-offish when it comes to meeting men at bars and other public places. I honestly do prefer the method of reading a profile and getting an insight on them before engaging in conversation.

It’s like skipping through the B.S. of first impressions.  Your first impression for me is what you have to say for yourself to the world; a general insight on you.  Not what you think I might want to hear according to where you meet me, what I’m wearing and/or what I’m drinking.

online dating is what I’m most comfortable with, and has yielded the best results for me.  It’s something I enjoy and don’t plan on quitting any time soon…Unless I meet my Prince Charming, of course!  Until then, I’m hooked and it can only be to your benefit!

This entry was originally posted by me at Singles Warehouse

Dear Mr. Seductive

17 Oct

A  friend of mine recently introduced me to a website called iSeduceWomen.com.  Now, when she first told me the site’s name I thought “What the in the…” and of course I had to go check it out for myself.  The site is just one page, very clean and very simple. It describes itself as being “For the man who digs women. From a woman who digs women.”

Not yet intrigued?  It continues to read “Seduction is not about sex.  Seduction is not simply a carnal venture.  It’s about appreciating, celebrating, and reveling in a woman on every level and in every way.”

So of course I signed up for the mailing list and since then have been receiving daily messages from a  Mr. Craven Moore with advice on none other than the art of seducing women.  And I must admit, every day I grow more and more intrigued with this said Craven Moore.

“Dear Mr. Seductive,

Be patient.

Seduction isn’t about sex.  It’s about pleasure.

Pleasure in sexual tension.  Pleasure in stalking your prey.  Pleasure in waiting patiently for the kill.

Take your time.  Point out how much you love the building tension.  Move in close, but let her come to you.”

What?!?!  This is so sexy!!!!

“Dear Mr. Seductive,

Gauge her naughty level.
If she’s proper, don’t be insulting.  If she’s a freak, be REALLY freaky.

Dare to be different.
Have tricks up your sleeve.

Do something to her that NO ONE has ever done before.
She’ll tell your friends (and hers) about it.

How far are you willing to go to be a legend?”

I for one will not be using this information to try to seduce women because I am a man-lover to a fault.  But I can most definitely say that I love this idea and I think every man should be reading these little bits of advice.  I don’t necessarily agree with all of them, but they are, for the most part, pretty on point.

“Dear Mr. Seductive,

Make sure she knows how hot she is.

Infuse her with confidence.  The more attractive she feels, the more she’ll want to take her clothes off.”

Need I say more?  I think not! Spread the knowledge ladies.  Let’s get these men back on track!

You’re welcome!
-Emily Sixx 😉

The words of a Conservative man…

28 Sep

As many of you may already know, my last blog entry (The world of Online Dating…) was featured on the WordPress Freshly Pressed two days ago and since then my blog has received a ton of views.  Before diving into anything too complex, I’d like to say that I feel extremely honored and am so grateful for that, as well as for all of the visitors, commenters, new subscribers and friends that came along with it.

Now, somewhere amongst those visitors was a gentleman who happened to read a comment  left by a fellow blogger, Amee Bohrer, where she stated the following:

“Emily, I’ve been doing online dating off and on since college! It worked better for me when I was younger– possibly because that was before most people have really been burned and they were more optimistic and open. What I see now is a lot of guys that are either desperate to get married and have kids, or their profiles are so hateful towards women that it seems they just want to vent rather than actually date!”

Somehow that inspired him (Mr. Conservative, as Amee dubbed him) to write his own blog entry entitled, “People Should Mary Earlier”, where, in a very subtle way he basically explained that by the age of thirty she’s most likely missed her chances of finding a husband and bearing children.  Now, this is just my interpretation of what he said so I will let you judge for yourself:

“I’m told that a woman’s fertility starts to decline around age 27, and that at 35 it’s already down to half what it was at 25 (and half of that at 40).  Whether those are the precise numbers or not, a woman’s fertility certainly declines over time, and with it (think of it in evolutionary terms if you like) her attractiveness to men.”

Reading this really irked me, but nowhere near as bad as when I read the following:

“Women should convert to Christianity and stop sleeping around.  They’re actively working against their own interests and squandering a valuable, but very quickly depreciating, opportunity.”

I was blown away by this.  I am far from Conservative and even further away from devoting myself to any one religion.  Now, don’t get me wrong, I am not an Atheist by any means.  I do believe in a God, but I am the type to admire all religions at once and not just pick one.  They are all beautiful in their own right and I respect and admire everyone and their religion of choice.

He then continued with:

“If all women refused to fornicate (and if the Supreme Court allowed us to outlaw pornography, by the way), men would suddenly be much, much more interested in marriage. “

Furthermore, I could not hold back and had to leave a comment of my own:

“I can only speak from experience and observation, and I also can’t totally agree that getting married younger will make for a longer happier marriage.

Getting married at ANY age, young or old, to the RIGHT person is what will make one last.

When a person is young, they usually tend to act on impulse in the hopes of living a dream that society has implanted into our minds from the moment we were born. Unfortunately these same impulses don’t always lead us to making right decisions.

Not saying no one should get married young. Some people find their match fairly quickly in life, and hey, that’s great! But for the rest, it’s best to be picky and patient and not dive into an inevitable mess for the sake of bearing children.

If women refused to fornicate and porn was outlawed, sure more men would be willing to get married..but then again, wouldn’t a lot of them just be settling for the sake of having sex? And if that’s the case, wouldn’t that lead to more unhappy and/or totally failed marriages? I also believe removing that stimulation from men can lead to other problems like an increase in rape and possibly child molestation. A lot of creeps need to get their kicks somehow, and if they can’t get it online, they will get it some place else.

And a woman does not need to convert to ANY religion to make her a better person or for hopes of having a successful romantic relationship. She just has to do what is right for her and live her life as she will.

Love is the law, love under will.”

So, I know it’s a lot to read and will probably make most women upset or even uncomfortable, but I ask you to take the time and read Mr. Conservative’s blog entry and share your thoughts.

There is no right or wrong when it comes to opinions and view points, but I’m just curious to see what people (particularly other women) think of this particular view point.

Thanks for reading!
-Emily

P.S.  After the publishing of Mr. Conservative‘s blog entry, she too was inspired to write an entry entitle, ” Publicity! Or: How a Conservative Hater Made My Day!.”  Stop by and check it out.  She is an amazing writer and a new friend 🙂

The world of online dating…

25 Sep

Like most things that were once considered to be taboo, online dating is now old hat.  However, as socially accepted as it now is, there are still a lot of naysayers who love to bash the concept and  try to convince you that it’s still as dangerous and ineffective as it was in the 90’s.

Personally, I’ve been online dating for a few years now…Actually, come to think of it, the first time I ended up dating someone I met online was when I was 17.  Now, at 26, I can say that I’ve definitely learned the ins and outs of online dating and can genuinely see all of the pros and cons, from an experienced point of view.

Argument #1:  You never know if what they are telling you online is true!

This is definitely correct.  There really is no way of knowing if what these people are telling you online is true or not.  But then again, that guy/girl you met at the bar last night could quite possibly be just as creative and insincere as the person you just met online.  It’s a gamble either way!  You just need to be aware of this, stick to your gut instincts and keep track of the things this person tells you.  Over time ask the same questions again and see if you get consistent answers.  Consistency is key!

Argument #2:  A lot of people post fake pictures or really old pictures from when they were younger and better looking!

Again, this can also be true, and thanks to this I’ve learned to NEVER meet a potential  date in person until you’ve managed to get a totally recent photo of them.  You can do this like so: After you’ve shared enough emails and feel like you quite possibly could connect on a deeper level, give them your phone number but tell them to only text you.  After a few texts, ask them what kind of phone they have.  Once you’re assured their phone model has a camera (because some people lie and say their phones don’t have cameras) ask them to take a picture of themselves and send it to you right then and there.  Make it funny though, so that they don’t feel like you’re playing too hard of an investigator.  Ask them to hold 3 fingers up in the photo or to hold a piece of paper up with a funny word on it so you know that it is absolutely recent and shot just for you.  Once you’re assured they are the same person you saw online and that they’re not actually 10yrs older or 100lbs heavier and you still feel that good vibe, then go ahead and give them a call and go from there.  If they in any way avoid taking a recent picture for you, suggest web caming, and if they still can’t follow through DROP THEM!

Argument #3:  How do you know they are seriously looking for a relationship and not just sex?

There’s no way of knowing what is going on in anyone’s head.  This goes for both the people you meet online and the people you meet in person by chance.  One thing I can say from experience is, if what you’re looking for is a relationship, you should probably weed out the lower quality websites.  Most men wont pay a fee on sites such as Match.com or eHarmony if they aren’t seriously seeking a partner.  From personal experience I’ve noticed that people on paid websites have much better quality profiles, where they express themselves and what they are looking for in a much deeper level.  They also tend to be more picky themselves and move a little slower in regards to when they want to meet you in person.  I’ve also noticed that these men tend to be the higher quality dates and are a lot more respectful and even understanding if you later feel that you guys just don’t connect on that level.

Free dating sites such as POF (Plenty of Fish) are a complete free-for-all.  It doesn’t cost anything so anyone can join and not think twice about what the site is actually supposed to be for.  You may occasionally come across a person that is genuinely seeking a serious relationships, but the all around number and quality of emails I’ve received there  all lead me to believe that this site is a little more for the men and women who would much rather have a casual encounter of the sexual kind.

Argument #4: If they found you online who’s to say they wont meet other people online while you’re together?

The chances of these men/women cheating on you are just as high as any other.  Just because you didn’t meet someone online doesn’t mean they don’t know how to use the internet.  All people pose the same threats and we’re all facing the same risks when entering into a new relationship.  Welcome to the world of dating!  It’s life!  Sometimes you find a good one, sometimes you don’t!

**An added benefit for women**

For the most part, we have all been raised thinking that men have to be the initiators in a courtship and have thick enough skin (for the most part) to withstand rejection.  One thing I can honestly say that is a definite bonus to online dating (for both sexes) is that women have become more daring and have been taking on the initiator role as well.  Where a woman would be too embarrassed to approach a man in person or just be extremely terrified of rejection, they feel a lot more safe in doing so online.  Instead of facing public humiliation, at worst they may receive an email saying “Thanks, but I don’t think you’re really my type” or their advance may be ignored. No harm, no foul! No embarrassment and no hurt feelings!

So, to summarize everything stated above, online dating can indeed be risky, but not more or less than meeting someone while out and about or through friends.  It does come with it’s own warning label, but if you play your cards right and keep your wits about you, you will be just fine.  If you’ve been thinking about joining an online dating site and have been afraid, don’t be.  Give it a shot!  You never know who you may meet on there who’s path you may have never crossed in person otherwise.